Paradox hits harder than tequila at a faculty meeting. You drown in information while starving for a single coherent thought. The stupidity of our era isn’t ignorance. It’s refusal. A toddler-level tantrum against thinking. People wear data like a Rolex while their consciousness decomposes in the basement, probably next to that treadmill they bought in 2020.
This isn’t a sermon. This is an autopsy performed by someone who just found out the corpse is still tweeting.
Back in the day, thinking was oxygen. Misread the weather, lose the crop, lose the house, explain to your kids why dinner is “imagination soup” again. The universe didn’t care about your feelings. It barely cared about your existence. Stupidity wasn’t a lifestyle choice promoted by influencers. It was natural selection’s favorite snack.
People understood cause and effect because physics doesn’t negotiate. You learned fast or became a cautionary tale told at funerals. No TED Talks titled “Why Failure Is Your Friend.” Failure was that friend who borrows money and sleeps with your spouse.
Then comfort arrived like a dealer offering the first hit free. Failure lost its teeth, got dentures, moved to Florida. You could screw up and still eat dinner, probably TV dinner, but still. The brain noticed. Why burn calories thinking when McDonald’s is hiring?
Education bloated like a tick. More schools, less learning. Students stuffed with answers to questions nobody asked, like human foie gras. Intelligence measured by your ability to regurgitate information you’d forget faster than your anniversary. We outsourced everything. Mechanics fixed cars. Pills fixed bodies. Maps fixed navigation. Each surrender of skill was brain cells waving goodbye at the departure gate.
Velocity became religion. Thinking slow? Heretic! Burn the witch! Corporate meetings turned into interpretive dance around PowerPoints nobody understood. Ask “why” and watch faces freeze like Windows 95. The point wasn’t understanding. The point was looking busy while your soul quietly filed for divorce.
Television chopped thought into bite-sized McNuggets. Stimulus, reward, stimulus, reward, check phone, panic, repeat. Concentration became as rare as a Blockbuster Video store. Remember those? Neither does your attention span.
The internet arrived wearing a cape and promised salvation. Then public humiliation followed. Infinite information met zero digestion. Everyone became an expert after skimming half a Wikipedia entry while sitting on the toilet. People debated quantum physics after watching one YouTube video titled “Einstein DESTROYED by Facts and Logic!”
Social media weaponized validation. Your thoughts became performance art judged by strangers who think chocolate milk comes from brown cows. Ideas measured in likes. Truth became that thing your uncle shares on Facebook with seventeen exclamation points.
Minds split into teams like the world’s worst divorce. Critical thought became treason. Disagreement was literally violence, according to people who’ve never experienced actual violence. Algorithms fed you your own beliefs until they fossilized. Reality shattered into a million pieces and everyone grabbed their favorite shard, waving it around like Excalibur.
Universities transformed into daycare centers for adults. Safe spaces everywhere. Strong minds on the endangered species list. Professors teaching Plato while secretly googling “what is Plato” during bathroom breaks.
Brains surrendering faster than France in 1940. (Too soon?) People watch TikToks while Netflix plays while texting while eating while their consciousness experiences what psychologists call “What the hell am I doing with my life?”
AI now thinks for you! ChatGPT writes your emails with the personality of a sedated accountant. Grammarly fixes your words because apostrophe’s are hard. GPS navigates because remembering three turns is apparently NASA-level difficulty. We call it convenience. Our ancestors call it pathetic from beyond the grave.
Here’s the joke that nobody’s laughing at: The tools designed to make us smarter made us dumber than a bag of hammers. At least hammers have a purpose.
The smarter our phones, the dumber we become. Not because we can’t think. Because we won’t. Like having a gym membership but taking the elevator to the second floor. The brain, that use-it-or-lose-it organ, is losing harder than a Vegas gambling addict with his grandmother’s inheritance.
Your brain screams for exercise while you feed it TikTok videos of people eating food loudly. Mental McDonald’s, supersized, with a side of existential dread.
But here’s the thing about paradoxes. They contain their own solution, like a fortune cookie that actually matters.
Pick up something difficult. Philosophy. Mathematics. Poetry that doesn’t rhyme “heart” with “apart.” Feel that burn? That’s your neurons doing push-ups. That’s your brain saying “Oh right, I used to do things!”
Read a book without checking your phone. I know, revolutionary. Focus on one task for ten minutes. Your brain will throw a tantrum like a toddler in Target. Let it. That’s withdrawal from digital heroin.
Because here’s the binary choice: Think or decay. There’s no middle ground. The middle ground is where brain cells go to die, probably while scrolling Instagram.
The paradox is simple: We’ve never had more tools for thought and we’ve never thought less. We’ve never had more access to wisdom and we’ve never been dumber. We’ve never been more connected and we’ve never been lonelier inside our skulls.
Start climbing out. Your brain will thank you. Eventually. After it stops crying.