An astute cultural observance, Brett. It had never occured to me that much of our propensity for addiction and self destruction can also come from unexpressed grief.
It occurs to me that men have it even harder in this regard as tears in men are all too often frowned upon as weakness.
As a child, I myself was taken by the grief of leaving my home country with relatives, friends, and culture, which I only recognize this moment as having caused much of the youthful pain I felt as a child.
After all, wasn't I supposed to be grateful to have the opportunity to come to the great USA?
“Grief is love with nowhere to go”. Brilliant and one-hundred-percent truth. In this Christmas time which is my absolute favorite time of year I find myself grieving. I grieve the family that is gone and how we would spend this time. I grieve the son who has cut me out of his life who I haven’t had a Christmas with since 2010. And despite the momentary sadness, grieving means that’s one more moment I get past my feeling of loss. This country and its businesses leave no room for handling grief or healing. I had a job that I quit after my Dad died. I needed a week off to handle his affairs. When I returned the manager called me into her office and said to me “you know we’re not paying you, right?”. I looked at her and said “so what do you expect me to do?” In the midst of my grief was rage. I worked in IT and was tempted to go back to my desk and obliterate their servers, but I thought better. I immediately began looking for a new job. It took a little while but I left. My first question at my interview for a new employer was how long their bereavement policy was. They gave a week and whatever extra time needed and it was paid. Once again, brilliant writing my friend. Happy Holidays to you.
This is an important essay, Bret. The shape of our planet impinges directly on my feelings and thoughts. I can't avoid the grief I feel. The loss of culture, the decline of emotional sensitivity and maturity. Oy Vey! Beautifully expressed, amigo.
An astute cultural observance, Brett. It had never occured to me that much of our propensity for addiction and self destruction can also come from unexpressed grief.
It occurs to me that men have it even harder in this regard as tears in men are all too often frowned upon as weakness.
As a child, I myself was taken by the grief of leaving my home country with relatives, friends, and culture, which I only recognize this moment as having caused much of the youthful pain I felt as a child.
After all, wasn't I supposed to be grateful to have the opportunity to come to the great USA?
“Grief is love with nowhere to go”. Brilliant and one-hundred-percent truth. In this Christmas time which is my absolute favorite time of year I find myself grieving. I grieve the family that is gone and how we would spend this time. I grieve the son who has cut me out of his life who I haven’t had a Christmas with since 2010. And despite the momentary sadness, grieving means that’s one more moment I get past my feeling of loss. This country and its businesses leave no room for handling grief or healing. I had a job that I quit after my Dad died. I needed a week off to handle his affairs. When I returned the manager called me into her office and said to me “you know we’re not paying you, right?”. I looked at her and said “so what do you expect me to do?” In the midst of my grief was rage. I worked in IT and was tempted to go back to my desk and obliterate their servers, but I thought better. I immediately began looking for a new job. It took a little while but I left. My first question at my interview for a new employer was how long their bereavement policy was. They gave a week and whatever extra time needed and it was paid. Once again, brilliant writing my friend. Happy Holidays to you.
Y felices fiestas para ti también, amigo. Esperemos un 2026 más sano y sensato.
Grief is love with nowhere to go. Very nice Lili
This is an important essay, Bret. The shape of our planet impinges directly on my feelings and thoughts. I can't avoid the grief I feel. The loss of culture, the decline of emotional sensitivity and maturity. Oy Vey! Beautifully expressed, amigo.
Indeed.
A great read on grief, community and how our bodies respond to stress not expressed. Subbed and restacked! 🫶